December 19 – Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
I know at this point I am starting to sound like a broken record, but again, it was my trip to Thailand that healed me this year.
Before I left the country I was feeling terrible – I was having doubts in my relationship with Mike, I was burnt out and overworked from my master’s program, and I was pondering whether or not I have made the right life decisions. Leaving everything in the U.S. was exactly what I needed to relax, reflect, and have a fresh new start.
Going to Thailand helped me on so many different levels. I missed Michael deeply and wanted to tell him about everything, which demonstrated that I really care about him and wanted him to be a part of my life. I surrounded myself with the top academics in the field, and through their energy I regained enthusiasm in academia and even brainstormed dissertation ideas with my friend Beth Kuch. And exploring a new culture, making new friends, and having new experiences taught me that I do have a lot to offer, I can make a difference through my work, and that there is still so much more out there that I need to learn.
By the time I came back to the States, I was renewed, refreshed, and ready to really delve deep into my soul and think about who I am destined to be. That summer I thought deeply about what makes me happy and what steps I needed to take to get there. And overall I believe I became a stronger, wiser person – a renewed spirit who truly was, on all levels – healed.
In 2011, I hope to be healed on a more spiritual level – I want to find an inner peace with myself and be completely comfortable with who I am, who I am striving to be. I want to remove the anxiety from my life and approach everything with a sense of confidence and calmness. And I want to make sure that I never forget what my trip to Thailand gave me – a new perspective on my life, and a deeper appreciation for everyone and everything in it.