Getting Rid of the Negative: What I Don’t Need in 2011

December 11 – 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

What are 11 things I don’t need in 2011? Here is my list (in no particular rank or order):

  1. Insecurity: Oftentimes in my relationships, and perhaps because I have been hurt in the past, I feel insecure about the people in my life. I ask myself, “Do they really care about me? Are they just doing to leave? Are they being malicious behind my back?” This insecurity has got to STOP. Not only do the people who matter love me for who I am, but also they will never leave and will always be supportive. As Dr. Seuss said “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
  2. Mistrust: Already went into this one with my previous post. Without trust, a relationship is bound to fail. So I need to get rid of this mistrust and trust in the fact that I am with a man who loves me and won’t hurt me no matter what.
  3. Self Deprecation: You know how my 2010 word was “achievement”? Well now I need to be proud of those achievements. No more of this belittling and self deprecation nonsense. I work hard, I’m being successful, so why do I need to think that I’ll never be good enough? Maybe it’s my competitive nature, but I need to take a step back and really reflect on the amazing things I have accomplished this past year.
  4. Fear: Going to Singapore and Thailand this summer has taught me that I need to take more risks. What am I so afraid of? Maybe I’ll fail, but so what? I need to take these things as lessons learned. I need to stop being afraid of the unknown and just close my eyes and leap…
  5. Doubt: At theatre auditions, even though I wasn’t a trained dancer, I was always dubbed as one. Why? Because of this mantra: “fake it to make it.” Now I’m not saying that I need to fake my way through everything, but I’m saying that it helps to have self confidence every once in a while. I need to stop doubting myself and just believe that I can do it. I need to get rid of the negativity and the nay sayers and just DO IT!
  6. Distractions: This is a compilation of many things: partying, alcohol, sex, drugs, Facebook (haha). These things, among many others, can serve as distractions to the young student and professional. I need to remain focused and keep my eye on the prize – if I minimize distractions and get what matters most done I could have my doctorate by the time I’m 27 (now that would be cool, eh?).
  7. Ego: Humility is HUGE for me. Personally, I don’t think I am egotistical, but I would like to keep that in check for 2011. As relayed in a previous blog post I don’t think what I do is a big deal, and while that is good, I need to make sure that I don’t cut anyone down when I’m celebrating a high.
  8. Hesitation: Goes along with #5. I can be one to hesitate and not know what to do in big situations. I need to stop being so analytical sometimes and just go with my gut, or go with the flow, if it feels right.
  9. Indecisiveness: Which goes along with #8. I am TERRIBLE at making decisions – it is really a personality flaw of me that frustrates my boyfriend sometimes, to say the very least. I need to be more aggressive and confident in 2011, and stop freaking out when I have a big decision to make.
  10. Bitchiness: I wouldn’t categorize myself as a huge bitch, but as everyone probably has at some point, I have had my share of bitchy moments. Before I go shoot my mouth and say something that I will probably regret later I need to take a step back, think about why I’m so pissed off and work at saying what’s on my mind in a calmer, friendlier way.
  11. Being Unappreciative: Though the last on the list, it could definitely be considered the first. I have been blessed with so many wonderful things in my life! And sometimes I am so busy that I don’t really take the time to thank those responsible for getting me to where I am today. I need to be more appreciative, and share my gratitude with those I care about.

How will I eliminate these 11 things? Well as a start, I will be more positive, not dwell on the negative, and learn from each moment and experience. And perhaps reflect on this blog post every now and again to remember what matters.

How will eliminating these things change my life? I think it will make me a happier, stronger, and overall better person, inside and out. And who wouldn’t want that for 2011, and beyond?

About Rowena Winkler

Passionate Performer, Speaker and Writer by Calling, Dancer of All Good Beats, Yoga Practitioner and Enthusiast, Spiritual Trustee of the Universe, Traveler of Many Distant Lands, Lover of Derek the Logical but Amiable, Mother of Eponine/Dex/Teyla, Architect of Spoken Word Poetry, Trainer in the Craft of Communication, Unapologetic Individual, First of Her Name.
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